2010

Though we are only 8 months into this year, it just seems like it has blown by.
I have been through way more in the last couple of years, than I ever thought I would.
At this point in my life, I have hit a sort of bottom. My relationship has failed, I have no job, and in a couple of weeks, I need to be out of my house.
It all just seems so hopeless. I have distanced myself from all my friends, and church family, whom I love dearly.
Why? Because I have always been the type of person that thought, it would just be better for me to disappear, than to know that I'm a burden on someone else. I have had many who wonder, "has she gone off the deep end?", "Is she living a lifestyle we don't know about?", " is she trying to escape her circumstances by getting caught up in the world?". I've heard it all.
The answer to all of those questions is no.
Even though not a day goes by where my heart doesn't ache because of the horror of a splitting family, or I don't cry myself to sleep thinking of my beautiful children, and the lack of security they must feel.
I know I have Jesus. He has and always will be, the only reason I get through anything in this life. I don't have any of the answers for any of the things I have had to deal with, except that I know God wants me to use these experiences as a way of helping other people.
That's all I want. Is to know that the lessons learned were not in vain.

Brandi -